“My love, a gift for you
But you must come back to bed.
But only for a little while”,
(I think that’s what she said!)
So then I climbed back into bed
And waited for my gift.
Alas, she wore her dressing gown
I confess to feeling miffed!
But soon it did all become clear
What she wanted Christmas morn
I should unwrap her, there and then
To take off what she’d worn!
Well, my heart began a-racing
As I tugged that cotton rope
The gown came tumbling open
And my hand went in to grope!
She slapped me gently on that limb
And told me not to poke
I’d get my present soon enough,
Don’t be an impatient bloke!
That blasted gown was in the way
An obstacle to smooching
When I slid it down her back
I nearly started whooping!
My love knew what I would like
She’d bought some underwear
They were red and black and green you see
A present we could share!
Of course, I felt excitement rise
At this sight for Christmas Day
Even if we had stopped then,
My smile would last all day!
I climbed on top my love right then
Remaining clothes were shed
We wasted no more time that morn
Doing stuff all over the bed!
What, you wanted sordid details?
To hear that sex was good?
All I will say dear reader
Is I enjoyed my Christmas Pud!